The WAIT Kit

March and April 2011 was when I've learned the art of WAITing.

March 10 was when I have to WAIT at the emergency room when my husband, Dan was admitted for severe pain on his lower abdomen.  It was nerve-wracking to see him in pain, then to watch as he was administered with pain medication, then to WAIT for the medication to take effect, then WAIT while they did the ultrasound, then WAIT for the results, then WAIT for doctor's orders and prescription.  He was diagnosed with epididymitis which according to the doctor would take several weeks to heal, which means WAITing as nature and medicine takes its own sweet time.   Turned out that it was more than epididymitis, so much so that on April 19, he has to undergo surgery, which entailed, WAITing at the surgery center for over 5 hours, WAITing for  his vital signs to stabilize after surgery, watching for signs of infections, WAITing in line at the pharmacy for prescription, WAITing at the doctor's office during appointments (which initially was 3 times a week).  Adding more to his health crisis, Dan had some bronchial infection which cause him severe coughing, nasal congestion which led to more prescription antibiotics and more WAITing for the healing.

On top of Dan's health crisis, I too, had a health scare when I felt a lump on my left breast.  This meant, WAITing at my doctor's office for referral for mammogram, WAITing at the imaging center for the actual mammo examination and WAITing for the result.  

And that's not all.  At the time of Dan's surgery,  I was also scheduled for a job promotion interview, which means a stomach-flipping WAIT at the Human Resources Department for my turn to interview, while Dan is literally under the knife.  And after the job interview, it means more WAITing for the results.

Wheww!....

And now, after two months of endless WAITING....

While his stitches are still healing, Dan is back to work and back to being his normal self (a joker and a prankster).  Through out his WAITing, he has never lost his sense of humor.  There were days when he couldn't even muster the energy to get up or when the pain gets his down, he always bounces back and always find humor in our situation.

I have received the result of my mammogram exam require additional evaluation, I was told that there is no serious problem and that the doctor just wants to be completely sure of his diagnosis. 

I got the job promotion and started training for the new position this week. 

And so I made  a list that goes inside my WAIT KIT:

- A good health insurance coverage (for health crisis such as ours)

- A good book (time passes so quickly when you need to finish the story and find out if it's a happy ending)

- Patience and perseverance (the grumpy and incompetent receptionist may not have her coffee yet when you checked-in)

- A sense of humor (sometimes, a good belly-laugh is all we need to get us through the day)
- A big nice long hug (which means, "I am here for you")

- Support and encouragement from loved-ones (just the words, "everything will be alright" or "I am praying for you" means so much more and can turn despair into hope)

- Lots and lots of prayer (let's bombard the heavens with prayers, surely God will hear us and listen to our cry for help)

- FAITH & TRUST in the God Almighty (Luke 17:6 "If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, 'Be uprooted and planted in the sea,' and it will obey you.")

W -  What 
A  -  An
I   -  Incredible 
T  -  Time 

to experience God's grace in HIS time and not in our time.










ALL GOOD THINGS COME TO THOSE WHO WAIT!

The Journey to the Land of Opportunities

First posted on Facebook - September 07, 2010

Eight years ago, I left my hometown Silay and my family to embark on a journey to the “land of opportunities” with nothing more than a suitcase of clothes, some borrowed money and tons of hope, faith and prayers. Throughout the eight years, I have met some amazing people, gained new friends, stayed in touch with old friends and sent several balikbayan boxes back home to delight of my family. Looking back at the rough roads I had to take, the doubts, the fears and the loneliness to battle, it made me realize how God has truly blessed me these past years. I have found a home in Riverside, I have a job that has allowed me to provide for my family in Silay, I have found a church that makes me feel that I belong, I went to places that I used to only see in movies and of course the greatest blessing of all was when I met and married Dan (my partner, my best friend and my #1 prankster). The journey doesn't end...I know I have a long way to go but I am excited to see what God has in store for me. I am sure there will be rough roads but, with God as my personal driver, I am in good hands!

Mother's Day 2009

I am re-publishing this blog from 2009 which I wrote on my Multiply account. The month of May is when we celebrate Mother's Day (May 08 this year) and also my Mom's birthday month.  In fact her birthday is coming up this Sunday (May 1).  She will never be able to read nor appreciate this piece, but this is something that I want to share with friends and family.  Whether you have your Mom beside you or far away, show her how much you love her and how much you appreciate her.  Say a little prayer for her not just on Mother's Day but everyday because Moms can never get enough of God's special grace.  HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY! 

 

May 09, 2009   

12:18PM

It's Saturday morning in Riverside, CA, and from where I am, it's a day before Mother's Day.  I just have finished browsing and reading Mother's day articles from the Filipino websites, all remembering, extolling and recognizing the virtues of mothers.

I have already purchased a gift basket from my co-worker for my mother-in-law, Sally.  It's not that much and nothing fancy but I know that it's something that she would appreciate as she always find joy in simple things.  She's going on a cruise next week and the gift basket is more appropriate than flowers. 

If I was in the Philippines right now, I would have bought the same gift basket for Mommy Tessie with probably a Toblerone bar or Chips-A-Hoy cookies or Pringles potato chips. I know that these are her all-time favorites.

I can't help but think about Mommy right now.  She just celebrated her 64th birthday last week (May 1) and I say for a normal healthy woman, 64 is probably an awesome age.  For normal working women specially here in the US, at this age, it means looking forward to retiring, relaxing and absolutely doing what one wants because the kids are grown up and might have settled down, house is paid for, retirement money is in place, so there's really nothing else to do but enjoy life.  After probably more than 40 years of being employed,  a working mom is ready to do something for herself.

But not my Mommy.  You see, she has been battling her sickness for more than 15 years now and while the battle is still on, I have always been hopeful that we will win the war.  I don't know if we can achieve victory,  but I have never given up.

Mommy now suffers from dementia, some form of diabetes, hormone imbalances, seizures (with neuropathic pain, lately), incontinence, and some other symptoms which I only know after phone calls to Dad, Tweet or Kirsy (my two sisters).  Through out her sufferings and discomforts, she has remain beautiful, child-like and has been our source of inspiration.  When I talk to her on the phone, I don't usually understand half of what she's saying because it doesn't make sense.  She could not put into words what she means so she ends up saying some random things.  Sometimes she couldn't even remember my name and calls me some random names. One thing though that is absolutely clear every time she talks to me, she would always say these two sentences:  THANK YOU FOR THE BLESSINGS & GOD'S WAYS ARE NOT OUR WAYS.

I know deep in my heart,  that while she could not be the "Mommy" now and the Mommy that we expect her to be, she continues to be Mommy our one and only Mom.  Those two sentences that she always mutters is a constant reminder of how she was. She has lived her life with the fervent faith in God.  She and Dad has raised us with the only way they know how:  hard work, gentleness, integrity. compassion and faith in God.

Do I wish things are different? Oh absolutely!  I wish she's healthy so she and Dad can visit me.  They can continue to work or enjoy the Church ministry.  They can continue to share their faith.  She can advise me about growing old. She can go shopping with me and my sisters.   She can organize family reunions for both sides of the family.  She can attend her school reunions and continue her friendship with her former co-workers. 

But as she always say, GOD'S WAYS ARE NOT OUR WAYS. 

Happy Mother's Day, Mommy!  I will continue to do my best to be there for you, to care for you and to love you!  No matter what others say, you are still the best Mommy!  And while I know that you will never read this, I know that you would feel my love for you! 

 



"Whenever trouble comes your way let it be an opportunity for joy.  For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be strong in character and ready for anything."
- James 1:2-4

Lie to Me

Over the weekend, Dan and I started watching the Season 1 of  Lie to Me on Netflix streaming. We often get a glimpse of the show because it comes right after our favorite doctor, House on FOX.  We thought it is interesting, so we decided to watch the premiere episode to check it out.  After six episodes and counting, we are hooked. 

The show is about Dr. Lightman (played by Tim Roth) and his team, whose private company located in the nation's capital is hired to assist in investigations by interpreting "micro-expressions" through the Facial Action Coding System and interpreting body languages.  They are hired by government agencies to expose the truth and find answers when people chose not to tell the truth (at first).  So basically, the more the person lies, the more Dr. Lightman and his team discovers the truth.  Very interesting premise.

What strike me was how they present photos of famous people and their expressions and how similar the expression was to their subject's expression or reaction.  For instance, when their subject has a reaction or expression of shame, they would bring out the photo of Bill Clinton at the height of the Monica Lewinsky scandal.   Or the disgust in Richard Nixon's face when he was being asked difficult questions during the  Watergate scandal.

What caught my attention was the seven universal emotions: disgust,  anger, fear, sadness, happiness, surprise and contempt.  The contention was that regardless of sex, age and race, our expression these universal emotions are the same. It made me more aware of people's reaction or response during normal conversations.

Here are samples of the universal emotions as illustrated by Tim Roth, the lead actor from the TV series:

For example, just today, I got the good news of a job promotion.  Co-workers started talking to me, congratulating me and telling me how happy they are for me.  I now find it amusing that because of my awareness of these micro-expressions, I can see which one is truly sincere and happy and which one are just for show.

There was actually one person who was congratulating me and telling me how happy she/he is for me, but guess what, the eyes were focused downwards and I could see a slight tightness on the edges of the mouth. Slight anger or sadness?  On the other hand, another person was congratulating me and her/his eyes lit up, he/she grabbed my hand and held it tight while looking at me directly in the eyes. Definitely happiness. Both individuals were actually almost saying the exact thing but the expressions says it all. Isn't that amazing....

It is an eye-opener for me to learn these things.  It makes me more aware and sensitive to people around me and at the same time, it makes me aware of my non-verbal reactions.

So the next time you want to learn what the other person is trying to say (whether it's the truth or a lie), check out the universal expressions.  You might want to check some episodes of  Lie to Me, too.  

A Letter to my Father

Dear Dad,

Today, April 25 marks your 68th birthday. While we are more than 7,500 miles apart and we have a 15-hour time difference, I just want you to know that you are truly a special man and I am proud to have you as my Dad.  I saw how much you have sacrificed for Mom and for us, yet I know that for you it was never a sacrifice, because you love us.  

All your life, you are God's faithful servant, serving the church and doing ministries.  How long has it been Dad, 45-50 years serving the parish?  You trekked mountains, endured the rain and the sun from North to South of our province to deliver the message about God and His love.   You inspire so many with your heartfelt testimony of God's works in your life, in our lives.

You are the most self-less man I know.  You always think and put others first before yourself.  You always go above and beyond to give joy to others.  When you excitedly called me one day telling me that you got some money from the lottery, you rattled stuff you want to get for the family, our relatives, the church, but I never heard you say what you want to get for yourself.

When your next door neighbor accused you of being mean and maligned your character, you showed humility, patience and kindness.  The true meaning of a gentleman. 

You have been my No.1 intercessor.  I need not ask because I know that you always pray for me and for all of us. In good times and bad times, you are always there for me, telling me to keep the faith, to put my trust in God. 

And so today, As I went to church to celebrate Easter, I said a special prayer for you.  That God will continue to guide you and strengthen you.  That He may lift you up and give you rest when you are feeling down and tired.  That He may ease your burdens and give you joy when you are taking care of Mom.  That He may hold your hand when you feel lost. That He may give you the patience and the serenity when things may not be going the way it should be.  And that He may continue to use you to be a blessing to others.

Happy birthday, Dad!

I love you....

Our Philippine Visit - Part 1

I am re-posting some of my earlier blogs which I have written.  This was done 3 years ago right after our visit to the Philippines.

It has been five years and five months since I left my home. September 7, 2002 to be exact.  I left without knowing what was in store for me.  All I known then was that it was time to spread my wings and go to the U.S., the land of opportunities.  My priority was to support my family by my earnings and the same time I wanted to see and experience the other side of the world. 

The past five years has been filled with opportunities indeed!  I was able to work 4 different kinds of jobs in 2 states, lived in 12 different homes, visited or set foot, at least in 12 different states, met all kinds of people of different races and of course met and married my DAN! 

The five years was never easy, too.  It was filled with uncertainties, insecurities, worries, loneliness and  longings to be with my family.   But what kept me going was the fact that one day, I will see them again...

Originally planned for September 26, 2007, I have to postpone it because I started a new job at Kohls - Moreno Valley.  But come finally on  February 20, 2008, Dan and I boarded the Philippine Airlines Flight PR103 to Manila.  It was a 16-hour flight with an hour stop-over at Guam.  At the LAX terminal, I still can't believe that I will be seeing my family in a few hours.  (Attachment Feb20-08flight.html)
I thought that Dan would be really uncomfortable with the 16-hour flight but surprisingly, he was a trooper.  He found it funny when our choice for breakfast was either chicken adobo or fried bangus.  That's when I know that I am almost home.

When the plane landed, and when I stepped into the NAIA terminal, I felt a sense of tension because I don't have any cash on hand to pay the terminal fee (stupid! stupid! stupid)...You see when we left Riverside and I asked Dan if we need to go to the ATM machine to get some cash he said that we can get it at airport.  I was confident that we would be able to do so because the last week we went to Viriginia, there were several Bank of America ATM's at the terminal.  Well stupid me, I didn't realize that we were on a different part of LAX and there was no ATM machine.  So leaving the U.S., I have $10 in my wallet and Dan has $1.  It was so embarrassing to go to the exchange counter at the NAIA airport where the person in front of me, had $1000 to exchange and I only have $11.  Hey, with the $11, we were able to pay the terminal fee of P400 and had about P35 left, not enough though to buy a coke at the domestic terminal.

On the last leg of the flight to Silay, aboard PAL Flight PR133, I was feeling so anxious, like my legs couldn't stop moving.  I am almost in Silay.  I can't stop grinning but at the same time, I can't help my tears.  I would finally be able to see my Mom and Dad.  My two sisters didn't know I was coming because we told them that we were coming on the 24th so this will be a good surprise for them, we hoped!

When we finally landed and stepped out of the new airport, there was a slight drizzle but nothing can stop me now.  I started scanning faces outside as we wait for our baggage.  Where are they?  And then I saw my Dad's face and then my Mom's and then I broke down.    Dan hugged me because he know how emotional I will be and asked me if I wanted to go out but I refused because I know that I don't want to leave him by himself.   We were a team, one unit and we do things together.

Hugging Mom was what I really imagined and more!  Suddenly all the longings and uncertainties were all gone.  I got to see her again.  The same as with my Dad.  And when I introduced Dan and when they welcomed him, I knew that at that moment, I was the happiest person in the world.

On the way to our house at Sitio Barra, everything seem to be the same, yet it seems like the roads are narrower, there's a lot more people, and I felt like it was busier than ever.  I mean, Silay was never that busy before but I guess because of the new airport, there's more new establishments, old ones were gone (I missed Jogie's) but I knew that I was home especially when I entered our house at Sitio Barra!  We were greeted by this: Isn't that sweet?  And oh, there are banderita's (small banners) hanging in the ceiling of our garage! After a couple of hour's rest, we were eager to surprise Tweet and Kirsy.  So off we went to Bacolod...but first, I have to take a picture of Dan at our tree house.  I wanted to tell his folks that I only let him stay on the tree house the whole time

I don't think they would believe it, but he does fit in the tree house, at least at the entrance.   

So off we went to Bacolod to surprise my sisters.  First stop was at BPI where Tweet is working.  We got lucky because when we entered, she was not facing the front door as bank tellers normally do.  Dan went to the counter, and has to call her name thrice before she turned.  It was precious seeing her surprised look when she saw Dan.    It was even more funny when she literally stomped towards Dan, slapped his shoulders, before hugging him and told him, "I hate you".  Then she went towards me, hugged me. With tears in my eyes, I knew we got her good but also I knew that I have my sister again in my arms and it felt good!

Next stop, was SM Mall where Kirsy works.  We were not able to see her face when she saw Dan because we were only allowed a certain area in her office.  All I saw was her stunned look when she saw all of us and her hesitation at first to hug Dan.  And then she asked Tweet, if she was the only one who got punk-ed, but when we told her that it was her and Tweet, I think she felt relieved.

We all went home talking together at the same time, Tweet and Kirsy trying to make sense of the the fact that we were already in Silay , Dan trying to make sense of what everyone was saying,  Dad just so happy that he got everybody good with the surprise , Mom, I think just happy to have us ,  and Me ..trying to savor every moment and tucking it all in my memory.

The next two weeks will all be filled with memories, I am absolutely sure!

Such Is Life

For the longest time, I've been wanting to start my own blog.  Nothing fancy, just a way to put down in words all the thoughts, feelings, events in my life and the lives around me.  Each person I encounter has a story to tell.  It may be interesting to some, boring to others.  Each one of us has a unique experiences which makes this life very interesting.  Hence, the title, SUCH IS LIFE!